AbdulSalamWhen we talk about social media, we are talking about a connection we share with the people on it. Our friends, family members, and colleagues share pictures, status updates, and more on different platforms. We see them celebrating birthdays, getting promoted on jobs, starting new business ventures, and enjoying a foreign trip. We comment on their posts and show our love for them by sending love emojis and compliments to show them how happy we are with their success and growth.
Similarly, we also post pictures of the foods we eat, send snaps of movies we are watching, update our relationship status on Facebook, and share an Instagram story about how happy we are with our new car. We may have 200 people on Snapchat and 1000s of followers on Instagram and Facebook whom we always try to Impress with the lifestyle we have to make them feel Impressed more than inspired. But still, we are not feeling as good as we should. Why?
Though it looks connected, it feels like we are strongly linked. Though we make each other feel happy by wishing them happy birthdays after receiving a notification from Facebook. Every relationship that you build online doesn’t count much in your real life. Their kindness is limited to sending a heart on Facebook, replying with an emoji on your snap, and sliding into your Instagram dm to flirt with you. I will say one thing to elaborate on the results of our social media usage.
The more we use it, the more loneliness and depression will be part of our personality.
Let me elaborate on this, you are scrolling through your Facebook newsfeed, and the first post is by jimmy, who just updated his status about moving to LA; you scroll down and find that tom is enjoying his vacations in Prague; you scroll down further, and found your old colleague Jenniffer enjoying her life on foreign beaches and living a dream life.
How are you going to feel about that? Happy? Of course, but superficially. Deep inside, you will compare yourself with your friends. You will compare yourself with jimmy, who is moving to LA, but you are still struggling with your debt. You will compare yourself with tom, who started his own business 3 years ago and now living his life, and you are still unable to find the courage to quit and start what you always wanted to do because of your circumstances. You will compare yourself to Jenniffer, your junior, but she married a rich guy and is now living her dream life, but you are still grinding yourself for 50+ hours a week on your job.
Comparison is in our genes. We see anything and compare it with the people ahead of us. I have a Lexus; he has Ferrari. I have a Ferrari, and now he has a Bugatti. We compare ourselves to make ourselves feel happy about the achievements that we have done and things that we might not need, but we have to buy because those things will define how successful we are. Our comparison makes us feel low, depressed, and alone.
This depression and anxiety we get from our social media show that we are not genuinely connected with our people, our friends. Let me ask you a question.
- How happy will you be when your father gets a job promotion?
- How happy will you be when your mother has the opportunity to live some days in a new country?
- How happy will you be when your younger brother gets the highest grades in his class?
You will be genuinely happy with their success, but this role doesn’t apply to people you compare yourself with. You won’t find yourself happy when any of your age fellows will have the same opportunity.
This difference in emotional response means we are not deeply connected to the people we have on social media. We are connected superficially, but deep down, we are disconnected from everyone.
Should we stop using social media Altogether?
The University of Pennsylvania has established a clear link between the excessive use of social media and depression. A research paper published in 2018 in the Journal of “Social and Clinical Psychology” shows that limiting the use of social media for 30 minutes a day significantly reduced depression and loneliness. One hundred forty-three undergraduate students were just asked to be more mindful while using social media and were happier than ever before.
Boycotting social media is not a solution; having more control of your thoughts and emotions is the best thing you can do to make yourself feel more connected with yourself and the people around you. Being aware of your emotions, thoughts and feelings will be as effective as a digital detox. You need to be more mindful in those 30 minutes and don’t let negative thoughts and feelings overcome your good part. Feel happy for others and look at your past achievements. Remember that you have years to live and will get whatever you want at the right time. Don’t panic for quick success. Don’t be a shallow guy. Turn off your comparison mode, and you can do that only by cutting out negative emotions from yourself.
